Every time I hear the term “work-life balance”, I picture a seesaw with work on one side and all the rest of life on the other. We accept this concept as a reality, as a given. We suggest that accepting this “fact” is a sign of maturity and adulthood.
But, to me it is such an unbalanced concept. It is telling us that work is separate from life, not an integrated part of it. It means work is the priority and everything else must be prioritized on the life side – one’s significant other, siblings, parents, friends, hobbies, and chores, sleep – everything else has to be prioritized on the “life” side. In other words, work gets 50% and all the rest of life gets the other 50%.
I cannot see how it is possible to actually balance all of life into the hours allocated to it. For example, if you are lucky enough to have a ten-hour workday (two hour commute, lunch, seven hours of work), then you are left with 14 hours for everything else. If you follow the recommendations of health professionals then you need eight hours for sleep, leaving six hours one’s significant other, siblings, parents, friends, hobbies, and chores (food shopping, laundry, exercising). Let’s face it, for most of us, “life” time is further curtailed by our constant connection to work, where we are expected to check our emails/texts from our employer or, as salaried employees, we are expected to bring work home with us (literally or emotionally). Clearly, that imbalance is what is causing frustration, dissatisfaction, and stress in our relationships.
I often wonder why we consider work separate from life rather than a part of it. Perhaps sociologists are right and that work has created such alienation that we no longer feel connected to it. This seems like a reasonable explanation of why we accept the idea that there is work and there is the rest of life.
Is this the best way for us to think about our day, though?
What if the term were changed to life-work balance? What would our lives look like then? I won’t list out what I think it would look like; but I do hope you take a moment to fantasize about it.
What if it were simply life balance? What if we placed life in the center of the seesaw and we were able to rearrange the parts on a daily basis giving priority where it felt right/needed/ genuine?
I hope you are fantasizing about what life would look like if life were at the center and work was simply one of the priorities we had. That seems so much healthier to me.
Categories determine the way we think about the world. Perhaps it is time to change the way we categorize work-life. I certainly think it is.
BRILLIANT!
What an absolutely healthy perspective !
Seems like you have discovered the potential for a needed paradigm shift!
It’s beginning to change my mind even now as I type😎
Great as always
I can agree with you that is a healthy perspective, and I can also see how work being 50/50 with the rest of life is a unhealthy perspective. But will there not be initial struggle in mindset
Most definitely intellectually worded.
People today go to all lengths to escape their balance of life & work. I feel people lack the feeling of happiness. Most of our lives we spend trying to decide what our next move is most people forget to enjoy the moment. When you’re growing up you’re worried about getting good grades, going to college. Once you’re in college it’s about finding your career path and building a foundation for yourself to be able to live a stable life. Success is not always an easy thing to achieve and yes “nothing good ever comes easy” however at what sacrifice. We do all this then get a job or a career where we wake up when we are told to do what we are told to all to pay bills we didn’t need or want in the first place. Yes, nice things come along with these bills but where is the sense of self fulfillment, at a certain point it just feels like you’re going through the motion that society has set in place on being successful. Happiness, I realized the other day after one of my classes that most of the time I myself am not happy. I’m content I’m moving forward in life but even when I do something and reach an achievement in my life it’s all temporary and then on to the next problem. Many times, people find themselves trying to cope and achieve the feeling of the weight being lifted off our shoulders. Now, there is more than one way to do this obviously. It’s not all about the abuse of drugs and alcohol, some exercise or play video games. There are many different forms of escaping and I find that many people are just running to find happiness to find that little time of peace and clarity where you do not feel suffocated by the world and its standards. Everything is so stress free when you’re in that other place, you have not a care in the world and that is a feeling most people cannot achieve in a lifetime. Sometimes our minds just need a break from the everyday stresses, and I feel that is why most people want to escape or at least form my point of view. Sometimes I feel like there has to be more, something else then just doing what the world wants in the vicious cycle of repetition. I feel like walking around society you rarely see “happy” people. Being happy seems to be such a rare feeling amongst the masses, everyone is struggling, every person has their own internal war and their escapes are the only way people have found that momentarily happiness.
I concur with your point of view. I feel that it would be healthier for our mind and body if we were able to balance our work life with our personal life; since they’re related in such a close way, that directly or indirectly one affects the other.
The whole idea of separating personal life and work life is, as said, invalid. It is expected to not take your personal life “into” work and the reverse but that is so hypocritical. We always collaborate them. We are humans we don’t forget things simply because we are doing something else or at a certain place; if something stays with us it stays with us, that’s our emotions.
Work does take a good amount of time out of a person’s day and yet that shouldn’t be considered a factor into our personal lives? How? What if you have a family and you end up working late then you’ll need to extend the time with the babysitter; the personal is always there. Even when we come home work still remains, whether it’s coming home with unfinished paperwork or just the stress of the day/night they DO affect how you treat the “other half.” It’s how you organize your time in your life while keeping EVERYTHING in mind that matters. Not focusing on ONE thing and forgetting the rest. Everything is cause and effect.
Great as always!
The Seesaw analogy is very interesting because many people prioritize work over everything else in their lives. Often you’ll hear people differentiate their “work life” from their “regular life” as if that makes any sense. This concept is in fact unbalanced and could eventually become toxic. Everyone should live their life and enjoy it to the fullest extent while doing things they love.
I can’t agree more on your idea of “Life-Balance”, it’s the most logical thing and more people would be happy considering they’ll be doing things that make then content. This unbalanced concept correlates with Skinner’s idea on Scheduled Reinforcement for sure, Variable Ratio to be exact. People only work hard and prioritize work over everything else in their life because they know if they work hard they’ll receive a reward, “Paycheck”. It’s solely based on the idea of getting a reward. Work becomes stressful and overwhelming which is why it’s necessary to live your life and explore options. Many say that when you’re doing what you love it rarely feels like work. If people would prioritize life and make work something part of their everyday life then it’ll be a different story.
Focusing on the reward isn’t important in life, focusing on family, friends, the things that make one feel complete is important. The reason i’m in school for Business is to become and Entrepreneur, to do the things I love while receiving an income. You’re right I am fantasizing about what would it be like if life were at the center and work was a priority and I can’t wait to finish school to practice Life Balance without any Scheduled Reinforcement.
The idea of “work-life balance” is something I’ve struggled with for years. I never liked to think of relationships, social gatherings, self-reflection, meditation, hobbies, rest, and all other non-work activities as something to do “on the side,” with our work being the the thing we place on the highest pedestal. In high school and now college, I find it increasingly difficult to balance what I call my “personal life” and my studies. As a full-time student, school is my work and the fact that I call everything else my “personal life” shows that work becomes a subsection of our lives (and a large one at that). We focus on our jobs (something that should only be a small part of our day) so much that it practically becomes our life. Life seems less and less like living and more like working. I agree that life-work balance should become the new norm, because then we’d have much more time to dedicate to all that really matters. Having a stable income is crucial to one’s success, but one can’t deny the importance of support from loved ones, a stable sleep schedule, and the enjoyment of free time. Like you said in the original post, I say life would be healthier for all of us if we changed how we balanced work and everything else.
Hi. I honestly enjoy this blog post. In our modern world, we tend to put most things into organized categories for matters of convenience. People tend to unconsciously misplace parts of the day into boring and standard procedures. This can cause for us to develop many unpleasant emotions. Stress, boredom, repetition, lack of self control and presence are just some of the effects that an unbalanced life confines. When we go about our days little actions can seem very insignificant. When out and about even I often would find myself ignoring little actions I make, and the presence of others. I believe this was simply to conquer and complete my day with as little complications as possible. But there is something we all have to discover. Something we all need to include in our lives. Personally, I am a believer in Jesus Christ which is why he gives me full balance in my life. In other words you must take the first steps. For instance, the difference of people at a grocery store and people at a park can be enormous. This is because there is a physiological barrier we have conformed to put up. Whenever we are told to be relaxed, we tend to relax. Whenever we feel we need to focus, we tend to take the pleasure out of the task. I know this balance is immensely hard to achieve. The people around us have a great effect on our daily lives. When we notice someone in a rush we tend to be in a rush. Yet when someone is sipping some coffee or at the beach, we feel relaxed as if we are on a beach. Our social interactions can play a huge role. When everyone around you paces to be freed from the confines of a building or classroom, you may feel tense. The truth is we can let loose mostly wherever and whenever we please. Taking time to pray or giving thanks before a meal can ease your tension more than most know. Once we feel comfortable with our surroundings we can let it all loose.
“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled”
– John 14:27
As adults when we live with this “work and life balance” we tend to be neglectful towards everything else in our life even ourselves unintentionally. We get a job just to pay bills and are too tired for anything else in regards to “life”. Forgetting at times that the most important thing in it essentially is ourselves. There needs to be an honest balance when we program ourselves around such motto for we just work ourselves to death and pay little to no attention to our life.
I feel that life is the anchor of all things. Work is secondary and it should be that way this is where self-care comes into play you need to disconnect with work stresses and spend time with your self mostly importantly and family. I think it is very vital I agree with this article that work-life balance is unreasonable to devote half your time in life is difficult.
Wow, I agree with this a lot and huge emphasis on jobs that you have to take work home and sometimes that work might be emotional and mental things. I can only imagine how tough it is to be a a therapist and have to let your emotions out once you get home since you don’t get asked much about your life on the job or even outside of it since family members and friends may want you to be their therapist as well.
I think as you get older it is a lot easier to focus more on life than work. Being a kid it is a lot harder to find the balance though. Not only do you have to figure out a work schedule you have to figure out how to get school work done as well. On top of everything though you have to find time for significant others , friends , and family. But that is the process of life. Figuring everything out now while being young I think will help as you get older to prioritize everything and maintain a healthy lifestyle while working and trying to advance your career.
Life-work, and balance. I’m going to enjoy life today and work tomorrow, maybe. Mortgage is due in a week, I’ve been so busy fantasizing about life, then work, darn how will I make the mortgage payment? I’m saying security and shelter plays a major part in the work-life and balance stance, however, priorities can be set to maintain a much more balance structure with the seesaw the way it is. Finances is a major player in whether we are going to enjoy life or not, in my opinion, with that being said I have always been willing to change my employment if or when it became a primary focus of my life. Family is my primary objective, so when I took the job it was made clear that they came first and the job or career, which by the way will replace you if you’re injured, under performing at anytime, was just that. I retired in 2014 with not a hitch. So, learn to make you comfortable, and everything around you will be become comfortable. everything requires a little give and take, your family, the job or career, and you.
Work and life is very hard to balance. Personally, I find myself battling between working, going to school, and trying to have a “life” all the time. It’s almost like there is never any hours in a day! In my family we all had to get jobs at a young age, we were taught to work hard for what we needed and wanted. I find it helped me to build strong character but some days I find myself exhausted and unhappy. In the article, when it says to fantasize about a life-work way of living, I feel it would be peaceful too. I know that I would not feel so much pressure all the time on myself. And I don’t even work a full time job so I can’t even imagine how people who work 17 hour days feel. As humans we tend to face many obstacle courses in a day and it is normal to feel overwhelmed because of it. Juggling so many things at once can be complicated but I always find that when I time things right, I get better results. This was a interesting article because it made me think outside of everyday societal norms. Thank you, Dr. Urban!
I have actually been more conscious of my daydreams since our last psychology class. I really never passed much remark on them, except I enjoyed them, I enjoy the few minutes away in my fantasy land, away from the hustle and bustle, enjoying those few minutes of heaven! When you talk about changing the balance to life/work balance, that fits in very nicely with my almost daily daydream of vacation, relaxation, family time, much needed alone time, and just a slower place of life. That’s what I daydream about. Work is definitely in there, but in my daydream I enjoy it, it’s a nice slow paced place of work where people are happy and content and pleasant to each other. However, that’s my daydream, which I seriously doubt will ever come to fruition if I continue to live and work in a rat-race city where it most definitely is and will continue to be a work/life balance. But I can also daydream about getting to a point in my life where I can afford to change that balance. I believe I can make it happen. It’s not a ridiculous daydream after all, and it’s probably one that we all share, I just have to work towards it and have faith that I will be afforded the time to enjoy it. But until then unfortunately I think I will have to continue the struggle with the work/life balance and make the most of it, and eventually we will all arrive at that pot at the end of the rainbow 🙂