Gratitude – it is not just for a season, or for a day; it is necessary for a lifetime of happiness.

At least, that is how I feel about it.

It is not always easy to find a reason to be grateful. Our lives are often filled with problems, frustrations, disappointments, and worries. These can often cause us to overlook the many opportunities we have for gratefulness. Typically, when I ask someone what they have to be grateful for, they recite the “usual” list – family, friends, health, a job. We list these things almost reflexively. But really, family, friends, and our jobs can be the main sources of the problems that get in the way of gratefulness. So for us to be grateful for them, we have to dig a bit deeper into why they made our lists.

In other words, when we practice gratefulness, we have to be more descriptive. The reason someone or something is on our list, once described, becomes a true reason for happiness. The description also provides us with (1) an opportunity to practice making lemonade from the lemons and (2) a reminder that some things are just sweet in and of themselves.

Some examples:

• I am grateful for family…But, Aunt ____ can be so difficult; she criticizes everything. When I think about it more, though, I’m glad she taught me to think before I speak – and I’m glad she taught me that sometimes it is important to speak one’s mind. (Lemonade from lemon).
• My parents are elderly but healthy and able to live on their own. (Sweet in and of itself).
• I am grateful for my friends – people who have chosen to include me in their lives (although sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the “demands” of friendship). When I think about it more, my friends have taught me that I can say I am overwhelmed and can’t do something and still be loved. They have taught me that it is important to ask how the other person is before launching into my own stuff. (Sweet in and of itself with a touch of lemonade from lemon).
• I am grateful that I have a job; so many people are out of work. But, I really don’t like my job; in fact, I hate going to work there. When I think about it more, though, I am grateful for what the pay allows me to do (pay rent, purchase food, clothes). I am grateful that I can look for other work while I have an income. I am grateful that I do not define my worth by my job, but by the value I have to my family and friends. (Lemonade from lemon).

Once we’ve identified what we’re grateful for and why, it’s important to convey that gratitude. I realize that gratitude journals are trendy right now and rightfully so because they help us be mindful of our responsibility for choosing happiness. I also recognize that they can seem campy or even like homework or a chore. But they are not – and they can take so many creative forms.

My family’s first “gratitude journal” was a turkey we drew on poster board and hung up for Thanksgiving. We then tore little pieces of construction paper, wrote things we were grateful for on those small pieces of paper (including the year), and glued them on the turkey as feathers.   Every year the turkeys (yes, multiples) come out and we add to the feathers – and re-read the “old” items. The feathers reflect our age, what was happening in our individual lives, our family, and the wider world. They represent the simple (“my socks,” “bunnies on the lawn,”) to the complex (“that our friend came home from the war,” “that my children have found loves of their own”).

Other “gratitude journals” took the form of photo albums that celebrated the lives of relatives who achieved the ages of 90 and 100. Others took the form of cards with words written by others, but conveying thoughts that might have gone unsaid without the help of Hallmark’s writers. Others were notes in a lunchbox, notes under a pillow, or words spoken through a phone call or text.

The point is whenever we express gratitude, we enrich our own happiness as well as the happiness of others. Once that is experienced, expressing gratitude is never a chore – it becomes one more thing for which we are grateful.