On Mother’s Day, I get nostalgic. I think about the very first time I held my first-born. I think about how it was just as wonderful to hold my second child for the first time. I think about how heavenly it was to hold them as toddlers, to feel their head on my shoulder, to listen to their breathing as they slept, to hear them laugh as they played. I think about how breathtaking it has been to see them venture out on their own.
Many years ago, while they were still very young, I wrote: Parenting is a journey that takes us from total responsibility for another person, to the development of a responsible person. I am proud to say I’ve developed two responsible human beings and am enjoying their adulthood very much. Going by my statement from many years ago, it would seem my journey is complete, but really, as parents, we know it never is.
I know I will always feel a part of their continuing development, but now, I also focus on how they helped me grow. They developed me in concrete ways (they are my go-to tech group…I’m certain I will always need them for that!). They developed me emotionally. They kept me young at heart. They kept me playful and joyful. They added to my compassion. They guided my understanding of complex social and political issues. They opened my eyes and heart to new ideas, new people, and new adventures. And they continue to help me grow in all those ways.
As I think of all of this, I also think about the many forms that parenthood takes. There are the other family members who nurtured them and helped them become who they are. Clearly this includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It includes friends who chose to become family. It includes co-workers who guided and mentored them when I could not; who shared professional knowledge with them and helped to nurture their careers.
So, on Mother’s Day I celebrate all the people who help develop us, who nurture us, who help us face and conquer the “next” stage of our lives. Parenting, after all, is not biological. Parenting is a choice. It is the choice to nurture someone else. It is the choice to help someone else achieve his or her potential.
To all of you who have nurtured someone in some way, thank you. Happy Parenting Day!
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination” ~Carl Rogers ~
That was beautiful and very touching. I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
those beautiful beings teach us how to be a parent, I have 2 wonderful children who brighten my life. Sometimes could be really frustrating, but To be a mom is the best job I ever had ❤
Thank you for writing this, for expressing what so many of us feel, miss and also look forward too. I am so grateful to those that have played a role and continue to play a role in my children’s nurturing. Happy Mother’s Day Diane!!
Thank you for writing this, for expressing what so many of us feel, miss and also look forward too. I am so grateful to those that have played a role and continue to play a role in my children’s nurturing. Happy Mother’s Day Diane!!
That was a very touching post.
“Parenting, after all, is not biological. Parenting is a choice. It is the choice to nurture someone else. It is the choice to help someone else achieve his or her potential”
You couldn’t have said that better! Thank you so much.
As a mother I can thing 4 years ago when i hold in my arms my son, there are not words to describe my emotion, my love, my happiness. I share your feeling with you what you wrote. Had and still having my mother next to me trying to teach me how to be at mom it is helpful sometimes but in the end I realize that each mom is different. We are moms trying to do the best that we can to make our children have a happiest environment.
I didn’t have a father around for the most important years of my life. The years that I’ve gone through puberty, years that I’ve liked girls in my school but didn’t know how to approach them, years that I couldn’t understand how politics and economics worked, and definitely years where my friends and the other people around me would be up to no good like doing drugs and teenage pregnancy. My father wouldn’t discipline me when I’ve done the wrong things, nor would he teach me right from wrong , he would always sugar coat everything and overly comfort me and tell me everything’s gonna be alright. Now that I’ve developed into a young adult, I see that that’s not how to help another person develop and grow, thanks to my mom I’ve become smarter and wiser in my life. Thanks to her I’ve grown up to realize how valuable she really is to me and thanks to her I didn’t become what some of what my friends became from a lack of fathers in their lives, from drugs users, to dealing drugs, to teenage pregnancy, etc. Not all mothers are our superheroes but I’m happy and grateful to say mine is.